Learning What's Good For Me.

I just finished my second audio book on CD. And my fourth week working in reality television. I had a friend get engaged this past week. Which made me cry I was so happy for her. And touched that she emailed me a picture of the ring on her finger. I just paid one friend back the money she loaned me. And look forward to repaying the next. I've got my commute down to an hour. I still don't like paying for gas. I learned from the very un-birthday dinner at my sister's place. And so I'm not going to a birthday party tonight for a friend. As much as I'd like to celebrate with him at his party, I'm taking care of myself. And seeing another certain someone there wouldn't be doing that. It would just hurt. And I've had enough of that. Feeling good feels better. As uncomfortable as it might be. I'm trying to get used to it. Luckily, my friend understands and instead, I get to spend a whole day with him next weekend. We're going to spend Sunday celebrating our birthdays together. Which seems like a pretty good trade-off. I'm rewriting my essay this weekend so I can get it to Fresh Yarn. Finally. So perhaps I can finally get the story published online. I'm feeling more creative but not entirely funny . I guess a lot of self-help will do that to a girl. That's why I've been listening to Augusten Burroughs in the car. I'm trying to get my sense of humor back. Besides, I really want to laugh again. I miss laughing. I like joy. I have been getting to know my co-workers better and with that comes laughing. I'm very teasable. And gullible. I also have quirks. Which are slowly creeping their way back. And being a fish-out-of-water and an older fish at that in a whole new world, it's kind of funny at times. To them and to me. I think it will probably be at least another couple of jobs before I can move out of mom's. Which is not ideal, but okay. I'm adjusting to feeling so removed. It's allowing me time to think. To set boundaries. And to get my bearings. I am dying to date. But don't think I'm quite there yet. I think my own place would make it easier. And perhaps a few more self-help books. I think they're working. It's working. Which is a huge relief.