My Day Off.

I had today off, but I still woke up early. I always wake up early. I like it usually, but not so much today. What can you do? I was tired the whole day. Hungy the whole day and didn't feel like eating. I still can't get motivated to eat in Orange County. You have to get in the car and drive to get anything and everything you want. And drive far. Argh. I know I could make something but that would require groceries. I don't have groceries. That would require driving, too. Unfortunately, my mother and I don't have the same eating habits so I can't borrow some of her food. I miss my rice steamer. I miss walking to get food.

I spend most of the day reading, writing and doing things like cleaning and straightening and paying my bills. It makes me miss my things. My books. My living room. And things like my chalkboard. If I had my chalkboard, I think, it might remind me to buy groceries and then I wouldn't be hungry. I finally go to the grocery store, but I just buy Skunk her food and Atkins bars for me for when I'm hungry and don't know what to eat. Then I go to the bank and the post office and stop at a place called The Denim Bar... just because I'm curious. Cypress never had any cute clothing stores when I lived here... some twenty plus years ago and I need jeans. Why this has become a new preoccupation of mine, I have no idea. But it is. And so I went in and found the perfect pair of straight leg jeans. The first pair I tried on. They fit me perfectly. Which was weird. Jeans never fit me perfectly. And I went down a size. Which is also weird. I asked the 18 year-olds who helped me if the sizing had changed for Citizens of Humanity. But they said, "no." Bizarre. And even though it might be slightly pathetic, my new jeans made me happy. The 18 year-olds wanted me to join The Denim Club which sounds like a suburban jean-loving cult because it is-- you have to buy like 15 pairs of jeans to get one free. I think I've bought maybe that many pairs in my entire life. I said thanks but no thanks-- I don't plan to be living here when I reach number 15. But I am here now, which means I need a drycleaner and an alterations place. The 18 year-olds hooked me up. It seems Mom isn't as hip to the Cypress scene as they are.

So that all being said and done, I should have done a lot more today... like get a mani & a pedi, go to yoga, and take my ghetto car in to get the ball rolling on having the missing piece fixed. But I didn't feel like it. It's still hard for me to get excited about doing stuff while I'm here. I'm trying, but it's hard. I am not suburban girl. I hate mini malls. Going to work makes things much easier. I like having a destination. And one outside of Orange County. (That whole hope thing, testosterone a-plenty and a potential career also help). I do need time off to write and get caught up on things in my life so days off are important, too. They just make me feel a bit empty and lost when I stop doing what I need to do and take a break. The nights are even worse... like tonight it would be fun to have a husband, or boyfriend or friend around to say "hey, what are you doing - do you want to hang out and watch a movie and drink wine?" But since I don't have a husband or boyfriend and it would take over an hour for me to get to a friend's place and then I'd have to spend the night and that's a lot to ask of someone over the age of 30 that you're not having sex with, I am going to read some more. If only more of my Boundary books had arrived. I could learn something. Believe it or not, they're working. Which is good. I'm not getting any younger. And tomorrow is another day off.