In Cypress, No One Can Hear You Scream.

Which is too bad. Because I've been screaming. They also don't allow you to upload photos and post them to blogger off of dial up. Which is also too bad. Because I had one I kind of liked for yesterday's post. But then again, I had lots of things I liked that I don't have anymore. And the things is, I did know it. I always did. It was just the holding onto it all that was hard. But I tried. I did. I even tried to hold onto the things I never even had.

I don't know how this whole situation is going to help me. I really don't see it. Not now. I can't see much of anything that you can't see with an antenna. I also can't talk to one more DSL rep without shooting myself. In the end, I'm still going to get that card thing and a two year commitment. Which other than apartments and jobs, will be my longest relationship. Yippee. And much like any other relationship, there will be a price to pay at the end. That's only if I end it. Which would be a bonus. I'm usually not the one who ends relationships. That's what my friend, Michael and I talked about yesterday. Boundaries. Abandonment. Mom issues. Dad issues. Yes, that's me. Spreading Christmas cheer. Actually he brought it up. During the whole wanting me to succeed conversation. Which was sweet. And his points? I would give him an honorary PhD in Psychology if I could. Then again, he has a few of the same and he has known me for 20 years. The fact he still cares is probably one of the things I should be cheerful about. Yet. Today. I'm not feeling so much so.

Today, the wind was so strong that it broke the gate in my mom's back patio area. It hit my car. But nothing happened. I wish it would have hit me. Now there would have been a story.