Back to the Beginning.

Because the beginning is where it starts. Or just starts over, I guess. That's pretty much my deal right now. Skunk is handling it much better than I am. Then again I'm 38 years old and she's like one. And I think she thinks stairs and carpet are a novelty. But I can tell she misses going out. By the fact she's trying to climb all over all of my mother's furniture. Which mom is not so pleased about. Even though she's warming up to her. I can tell by the conversations I catch her having with Skunk. And even when my mom scolds her, she's not all that mean. The woman grew up on a farm for God's sakes.

I meant to get Skunk those soft paws things on the day of the move so she wouldn't scratch up my mother's furniture. But I wasn't up to par. Which is too bad. Because many of the things that are accessible or affordable in LA aren't so much so in suburbia. Like Soft Paws. In LA, a vet will put them on for $31 all inclusive. In The OC? Try 86 bucks. I think not. So I'm going to schlep the Skunksters up to LA one day this week. She doesn't mind the car so much. And I figure I can yoga. Which I desperately need. Mentally and physically. They have this place called The Office near my yoga studio where writers can write and read the trades and stuff like that. It's time for me to get writing. To do what I want to do.

I resigned my skincare selling position on Christmas Eve. When it suddenly occurred to me that I didn't receive a bonus or a card or a thank you or basically anything remotely festive for the holidays. Which although not entirely surprising, is entirely not acceptable. Every bad job I've had has given me boo for Xmas. While every job in entertainment? I got bonuses and gifts galore. Which does make for a better disposition going into the new year. I didn't want to enter 2007 working in skincare anyway. That job and company were responsible for bringing on about as many nervous breakdowns as I brought on myself. So I sent the powers that be an email to that effect. And it pretty much seals the deal on my future with them. Which is kind of relief. The email was sister-approved before sending. Which is also kind of a relief. I had 2 glasses of wine the night I sent it. She was stone cold sober. She's also tougher than me in the sticking up for herself sense. I used to think she was selfish. Now I think maybe she's just smarter than I am about certain things like putting what she wants and needs first. And maybe that's why she has it. I'm trying to learn. I am.

In 2007, I want my life to be about what I want it to be about. No more shitty jobs for shitty pay in shitty fields (for me, at least-- not that they're shitty for people who actually like the fields I've been working in). It's just I'm passion driven. I like to use my brain. And progress. And getting job experience in fields you don't want to work in doesn't really do a lot of good. Unless you're making oodles of cash. Which we all know I wasn't. So what I figure is if I'm going to start over, then I need to be over and done with everything that's not working for me. Maybe if I had a husband and kids and a house and all those things I would do a job just to do a job because I'd get fulfillment elsewhere. But right now, what I do is all I have. (Although I do aim to change that). And if that's not working for me, then neither is anything else. Which when you're living at home at 38 becomes glaringly obvious.

My adorable little 4 year-old niece doesn't understand what happened to my place and why I moved. She wants to have a sleep over in LA. At my place. She also wants to see Little Will. God bless her. Without her and my nephew, Christmas would have sucked. But it didn't. Because kids are what it's all about. They remind you what's important. And what can be.