Milk.

According to The American Heritage Dictionary, this is the definition of milk:
1. a. a whitish liquid that is produced by the mammary glands of all mature female mammals aftery they have given birth and is used for feeding their young. b. The milk of cows, goats, or other animals, used as food by humans. 2. A liquid similar to milk in appearance, as coconut milk, milkweed sap, or plant latex. 3. Any of various medicinal emulsions. v. milked, milking, milks. 1. To draw milk from the teat or udder of (a female mammal). 2. To press out, drain off, or remove by or as if by milking. 3. To draw out or extract something from as if by milking. 4. To use for one's own benefit; exploit.

And so on.

I think I was trying to milk something out of myself that just didn't happen. I had hopes. I thought it would be this journey. That I would get to this amazing place. That the blog would be a way to track it. To record it. In a funny way. A blog means a web log-- which is essentially, a diary. I wanted this to be more. But soon, I realized, I needed it to be a diary. As a way to record how I was feeling. To help get me through it. But the fact is, it's out there. The pain. The lack of movement, the falls and the utter and complete loss of a strategy. So this isn't saying anything helpful about me anymore. Or where I'm going. Now I'm at the point where I type. Post. And then delete. Which is not a good sign. I'm on a rollercoaster that even I want to get off of. So I decided that I would let the milk run dry, so to speak. And for the final week or however many stories I have that were rejected, I will post them. So that much as was said in the very beginning, it will be what I wanted it to be-- a way to get my writing out there. For free.