Happy Birthday to Diane.

Today is Diane's birthday.

I met Diane in my writing workshop. Yes, I traveled all the way to Long Beach to meet a woman who lives two streets away. A very funny woman. Funny in the sense that she's been validated as funny. She used to go on the road as a comedian. But the thing is? She's one hot mama. And that's actually why she didn't want to do the road thing anymore. I think. (My memory fails me as I inch closer to 38). She was an actual mama. She has one daughter (over 20 years old). And a cat (under 20 years old). She's that rare breed of single chick who has a cat and a kid. Does that make her more legitimate in a man's eyes?

Well, if not. She twirls fire batons. Yes. Really. She's performed this feat on many occasions. How great is that? She dresses cute, acts cute, she is cute. And again, fire batons. If that doesn't bring a smile to your face, I don't know what does. She was actually going to twirl them at one of my birthday parties. The one that incidentally a group of firemen showed up at-- in uniform-- while working -- with the big red truck parked outside and everything. I heard one guy comment, "Well how are we supposed to compete with that?" Apparently, he should have read my blog. Fireman might equal sexy. But not always a catch. Anyway, Diane couldn't twirl her batons because it rained. Huge bummer. That would have been a birthday to remember.

Back to Diane. I never see enough of her. But my friend Kelly, whose birthday it is tomorrow does, because she owns a store. Which means she has a better sandbox than I do. That's okay. I'd rather have a guy come over and play in my sandbox anyway. Kidding, I love Diane. But, no. I really would rather have a guy come over and play in my sandbox more than her. So I take it back. The I'm kidding part. She would understand. She's single, too. Even though that's not very nice of me to write on her birthday. I'm just punishing her for being such a flake lately. Still, she's a loveable flake. And I'm sure I'll see her one of these days. Celebrate with her one of these days. And I'm sure it will be worth the wait.

In the meantime, here's to Diane and her crazy stories. And her fire batons. Long may they twirl.


PS I'm only writing something so short because I'm tired from training someone to take over for me so I can get on with my 38 days. Training people is hard. I don't like it so much. I'm a doer. A human doer... who is punchy and tired.